Fresh Start
by Ikonopeiston
Summary: Nooj explains to a friend why he is trying out for the Crimson Squad


**FRESH START**

Nooj dreamed of running, the sole of his foot striking the yielding earth and rebounding with vigor, his legs scissoring widely. He ran without thought, covering the ground with great leaps, as graceful as a cheetah in pursuit of its prey. The wind of his own motion lifted his heavy mane of hair back away from his face and he smiled with pleasure at the smooth integrated functioning of his body, his teeth gleaming in the hazy air. He was young, strong and filled with the glory of battles fought and won.

The massive sword was light in his grasp, almost seeming to float before him on the breath of his shout as he challenged his foe. The dream became richer, taking command of his mind, drawing him ever more deeply into the reality of what had once been.

"What are you thinking?" A voice which did not belong shattered the illusion of his wholeness and his untethered self.

"Just looking out at the city and making some plans." He shook himself slightly to dislodge the last lingering tendrils of his remembering. The memories spread a bitterness which suffused his mind and left an acrid taste on the back of his tongue. As he pulled himself into the present, the sky darkened and a chill breeze rose. He hunched his shoulders as if against an approaching storm.

"Goose walk over your grave?" The stocky Al Bhed with the gray threads muting his jonquil hair asked jocularly.

"What?" The tall man was startled out of his reverie.

"You shivered just now. We think that's a sign a goose has stepped on the site of your future grave." He explained lazily.

"Oh. We have that saying too. No, I was just thinking and got a little too deep in my thoughts."

Aquelev replied, "From the look on your face, they seemed to be good ones. Something special on your mind?"

"Not special. I was remembering how I used to be. Actually, I think those thoughts often lately.'

Aquelev looked at his friend with worried compassionate eyes. "It's all changed for you, I guess. Even if my people's engineers did their best."

"I'm not criticizing them. When I think about the prostheses from just a little earlier..." He paused and swallowed before continuing. "I'm grateful for the advances they've made. But I would like to be able to run again and feel the wind of my passage.

"I'm sure of that. Tell me, has the pain lessened? The nerves should be starting to heal by now."

"I can bear it. After a while it becomes a part of the routine and you forget things were ever different. It's odd how easy it is to forget some things and how others hang on in the mind unchanged."

The older man winced at the resignation in the voice. "Is there anything I can do for you? Anything at all?"

"Not unless you have a magic method of recovering my real limbs and attaching them back in their proper places." A twisted smile distorted the face of the crippled man.

"With all my being, I wish we had that skill." Aquelev stared down at his clenched hands. He was not an eloquent man and was particularly inept when dealing with such personal matters. During Nooj's painful convalescence, the Al Bhed had been near, doing what he could to ease the journey his friend had to make. "I would we were such miracle workers, my friend." He reached out a hand to comfort the other, then rethought his action and withdrew it. Nooj did not care to be touched.

It was uncertain if the tall man had even noticed. Nooj was silent. He leaned against the windowsill, his arms crossed, gazing out across the city toward the sea. His cane rested on the bench beneath the wide window where he had dropped it earlier. His face was shielded by the intricate coils of his hair. From even a short distance, he seemed intact, not the broken creature he was in truth.

Quietness reigned for a while with each man caught up in his own thoughts and unwilling to break the silence. Nooj lowered himself painfully to the window seat, stretching out his machina leg to one side and tapping his cane against the unfeeling left foot.

"I'm going to try out for that new command - the Crimson Squad. They say they aren't too picky about who they admit." He smiled sardonically and pushed his spectacles back up on his nose, a gesture which had become habitual. "I hear they even take some of your people. So I'm pretty sure they won't reject me."

"What're they all about?" Aquelev was relieved at the turn of the conversation. "I've heard passing mention but no details."

"They claim to be training officers to take over some elite Crusader units but I question that. Crusaders won't serve under Al Bhed and other misfits like me. The Maesters are up to something dishonest but it's my only chance to get back into battle now that my old crew has chucked me out on the dustheap."

"Why in the name of all the deities of all the peoples in the universe do you want to get back into the fighting business? Haven't you given enough? Why go back to war?"

"To die, of course." There was a flat finality about the statement which did not invite protests. Aquelev bit back his angry rejoinder and composed his face into a neutral mask.

Nooj turned back to the city-scape spread out beneath him. "The Maesters have set up their training camp on Mushroom Rock Road so I'm setting out for there tomorrow. Want to come along?"

"You going by hover?"

"No, I'm planning to walk. I can use some toughening up after lounging around hospitals so long. And I can put the time to good use by planning how to sound persuasive on my application."

"You mean you haven't even applied? I thought you had at least sounded them out. You're going to walk all that way on spec?"

Nooj smiled again. "Yes. That should prove I'm serious about joining and what else have I got to do these days? I'm hoping my name will carry some weight with the recruiters. After all, I was trained for seven years to become a Crusader. That should give me a leg up on commanding them, wouldn't you think?"

"They'll be lucky to get you." Aquelev was cheered to see this thin thread of optimism in the younger man. "I'm sure you'll be welcomed."

Raising a cautionary hand, Nooj hastened to answer, "Don't get too excited. I may want you along to console me after another rejection. Will you come on a long walk with me?"

"Willingly and for whatever reason. I shall enjoy your conversation along the way. So we set out tomorrow. Early?"

"I thought so. We'll take it in easy stages and camp out along the way. I'll get use to carrying a pack again and you can lose some weight and maybe join up yourself." There was a rare teasing timbre in Nooj's voice.

"At my age! I doubt they're that desperate." The Al Bhed walked over to look out the window himself. "We going down the Mi'ihen Highway?"

"To start. Then I know some back roads which will save some time and miles. There's some pleasant places off the main road; you'll see."

Aquelev nodded. Yes, this ought to be an interesting trek. He could use the time to argue against self-destruction and might make some small headway there. Yes, it would be worth the effort.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

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End file.
